Of Master Chefs and Malfoy
by Leigh Adams15
Summary: Draco Malfoy is a legend in his own mind. Why should he be anything less than perfect in the kitchen?


**Title:** Of Master Chefs and Malfoy

**Author: **Leigh Adams

**Rating:** PG

**Word Count:** 963

**Warnings:** None!

**Disclaimer:** JKR owns them. I just play with them.

**Author's Notes:**Many, many thanks to my wonderful beta. I don't know what I'd do without you, darling!

* * *

><p>"Draco, I'm home!"<p>

"…Draco?"

"…_DRACO!"_

"In here!"

"Draco, what are you doing?"

"Why hello there, my future wife. My day was quite tedious, but thank you for asking. How was training? Jones still got a broomstick up her bum?"

"…Draco?"

"Yes, darling?"

"What are you doing in the kitchen?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

"It looks like you're trying to cook."

"And again, those Weasley powers of perception have saved you. However, I am not merely _trying_ to cook. I _am_ cooking."

"…_Why?_"

"Does a man need a reason to cook a meal for his tired and tousled fiancée?"

"Most men don't. Most men weren't raised with a small army of house elves, there to cater to their every whim."

"The house elves are on stand-by. See, they're over there."

"… I think they're planning a mutiny."

"They wouldn't dare."

_*mutters*_

"What was that, sweet pea?"

"Did you just call me 'sweet pea'?"

"Yes." "Okay, that's enough. Who are you, and what have you done with one Draco Lucius Malfoy?"

"Really, I find your lack of faith in me disturbing, _Ginevra_."

"Don't call me that!"

"Then don't use my middle name."

"But it's so lovely! I think we should name our firstborn Lucius, after you father. After all, he _so_ approves of me. What do you think, darling?"

"…I think I don't want to marry you anymore."

"Or maybe Scorpius. I mean, your family is obsessed with astrological names."

_THUD!_

"Draco, did you really just throw a wooden spoon at me?"

"Was that what it was? Bollocks, I thought I'd grabbed the carving knife."

"Tsk tsk, talk like that's enough to have you sleeping on the sofa tonight. _Alone._"

"After I'm going through all this trouble to prepare a home cooked meal for you? You best be pulling out your entire bag of tricks tonight, Gin."

"You still haven't said why you're fixing dinner. Did the sudden urge to channel your inner housewife just become too much to ignore?"

"Hardly. Sit down, my Lady Weasley, and I shall shock and awe you with my prowess in the kitchen."

"Last time you said that, you weren't talking about your skills with a whisk…"

"Save that talk for after dinner. For now, we've a bottle of Châteauneuf-du-Pape breathing on the counter, and chèvre and fruit for you to partake in while you watch this episode of Draco Malfoy, Wizarding Chef Extraordinaire."

"…You think highly of yourself, don't you?"

"Of course. You're marrying a specimen of sheer perfection, Ginny."

"I think I'm going to be sick."

"Woman, shut your mouth and sit down."

"…"

"Thank you. Now, here's your glass of wine. Observe as your future husband cooks you a delicious meal."

"You keep going on about how delicious this is going to be, but you've yet to tell me what we're having."

"Has anyone ever told you that you're a demanding witch?"

"You like it."

"I like it when we're in our bedroom. Everywhere else, it's just annoying."

"Draco…"

"Yes, yes, alright. To start, we're having a simple cream of chestnut soup, followed by rosemary and garlic roasted leg of lamb with sautéed asparagus and baby new potatoes. To finish the evening, we have a chocolate soufflé."

"…"

"This is the part where you tell me how amazing I am."

"It sounds amazing, but Draco… you've never cooked before you in your _life_. I mean, what you've planned is like pulling a Wronski Feint your first time on a broomstick, and _no one_ does that."

"I did."

"…Of course you did. The point is, that's a complicated meal. And while I appreciate the gesture, I don't want to have to call the Ministry when you've burnt down the house. Or spend the evening in St. Mungo's with food poisoning."

"A fire is nothing a good _Aguamenti_ can't take care of, Ginny. And do you really have so little faith in my innate ability to cook?"

"…"

"That's right, just drink your wine and remember: I had the highest marks in potions in my class."

"Behind Hermione."

"Did you _have_ to bring that up?"

"Hey, don't throw half-truths out there if you can't handle the whole truth."

"…Did you get that wisdom from a fortune cookie?"

"Actually, I did. But it's true enough."

"Just for that, I won't put any fresh whipped cream on your soufflé."

"Draco, listen to me."

"…"

"You're not listening."

"I'm a little preoccupied at the moment, Ginny."

"…Darling, put the knife down before you chop your fingers off."

"I'm not a first year slicing gunyrood roots. I can cut an onion up… give me my knife back."

"Listen to me, Draco. I really do love the idea of you fixing dinner for me, but I think you should take it one step at a time. Why don't we order take-away tonight, and tomorrow, I'll teach you how to cook."

"Woman, I _know_ how to cook."

"Since when?"

"Since always."

"Okay. Then why are the water chestnuts out instead of _real_ chestnuts?"

"You mean there's a difference?"

"…"

_*sigh* _"Fine. Go find the Thai menu, and I'll put this back in the icebox."

"You know I'm right."

"Just because you say I know it doesn't mean I'm likely to admit it."

"I love you, too."


End file.
